Grandma is NOT hothothot!
by Hipparu
Summary: This fanfiction is rated T for suggestive scenes. A Tobuscus x Jacksfilms yoai (boy x boy for you noobs) fanfiction, don't like don't read. Also thanks a bunch from Holly for helping me write it. It's dedicated to her and I hope that she likes it :P T/M


**Hey guys! First off I'd like to say that this fanfiction is rated T for suggestive scenes and I do not own Tobuscus or Jacksfilms.**

**Second, This fanfiction is for my amazing friend Holly. She helped come up with the idea and people to use. So pretty much she requested it. Holly you're so freaking weird and YOU NEED TO COME OVER SO WE CAN OBSSESS OVER THINGS MORE!1 This fanfiction is a Jackbuscus (Jack x Tobuscus) fanfic and contains T rated scenes. Don't like yaoi don't read. Also it's ridiculously weird. I don't even know why I wrote this. (I don't even… I just don't even…)**

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Grandma is NOT hothothot!

"Toby," Jack sighed, stepping in front of the other's face. "stop staring at women. "

Toby tried to stare around the taller man, but he would just tilt in the direction Toby did. "But," Toby huffed, glaring down at the ground with grumpy eyes and then back up to Jack. "hothothot…" His voice trailed off as he kicked the ground with his foot.

Jack frowned, frustrated that his brunette friend wouldn't stop staring at breasts and butts. For once Jack wished that Toby would stare at _him._ Jack knew that he had feelings for the other man, and once tried to deny the feelings and bury them in a grave, but they always came back and brutally attacked his heart when he stared into Toby's deep green and hazel eyes. They were the most beautiful things he'd ever seen, but Jack could never stare at them for long because Toby would just look away and his attention would linger. That was the only thing Jack didn't like about the other man; that he had _such_ a short attention span. And the fact that he would always stare at women.

"Come on, Jack. I have to find _someone_. I've finally moved on from Olga and am ready to meet a better girl."

Those words made Jack cringe a bit inside, but he also saw it coming. He knew that Toby was straight, but he had always had a dim ray of hope inside him. Now that the light was as dim as a new moon, he thought that there was nothing else left to do but… move on. He didn't know how he would, considering that Toby was the most amazing man he had ever met. There was always Sean, but he just wasn't… Like Toby.

With a sigh Jack stepped out of the way and walked across the mall, head down to the ground. Eventually he came to a part of the mall that wasn't as crowded, but still had people wandering around. Jack huffed and threw himself down on a bench, completely depressed.

"Maybe I _should_ just give up on Toby…" Jack thought to himself. "He _obviously_ doesn't feel the same way." Jack leaned over and rested his elbows on his knees, then buried his head in his hands. "I just can't get him out of my head, though…" Mental images of Toby smiling and laughing filled Jack's brain and flooded his heart. It made him smile, but want to cry at the same time. "God, why am I such a girl?" Jack sat straight up then and spread his arms across the bench while crossing his legs and looking up at the sky light.

It was dark outside; probably around ten at night if Jack had to guess. Not good. He had a lot of work to do with the upcoming YGS number fifty. It was supposed to be half an hour long and feature fellow biches and YouTubers from everywhere. He had so much to do and little time to do it. He had to quickly find Toby and rush back home so he could try to talk with Smosh again and _maybe_ Ryan Higa. He knew that neither would reply, but he still had hope.

But before Jack could go an elderly lady stopped him in his tracks.

"Excuse me," She said; a hint of lust in her voice. "but are you Tobuscus~?" The elderly lady was short and bony, and would probably break a bone if you pushed her over. She appeared so feeble and wrinkly, it kinda made Jack uneasy. She had _waaaaaay_ too much make-up on and it just made her look worse, even with her bleach-blonde, frizzy, and dry hair. She seemed to be about mid-sixties.

"Uhm," Jack backed up a bit. "no, but my _friend_ is. I was just about to go look for the maniac." Suddenly a hilariously brilliant idea popped into his head and made him smile from ear to ear. "Would you like to meet him?"

The woman beamed and linked her arm with Jack's. "Sure thing."

"Jesus this woman is creepy…" Jack thought to himself. "But _that's_ what's gonna make this fun."

Finally they found Toby about to chat up some snobby blonde, but Jack stopped him before he got too close.

"What's going on, Jack?"

"Toby," Jack snickered. "I have a hothothot here to meet you~!" Jack sung.

Toby looked around the old woman and around Jack, but didn't see any hothothot. Finally he would see the sinister smirk on Jack's face and look down to the elderly lady in horror.

"I've always wanted to meet you," The woman let go of Jack and walked uncomfortably close to the other man. She then put her hands on his chest and leaned her face closer to his.

Toby looked above her and glared at Jack, lipping the words, "She is _not_ hothothot!" Good thing the woman didn't notice, though.

"You're taller than I imagined." She then glanced down at his feet and then back up to his eyes. "And bigger feet, also." With that she winked and Tobuscus fled. He ran (and rolled on his adult Heelys a bit.) down the mall and out into the parking lot.

Jack just laughed hysterically and began to leave and catch up to his brunette friend, but before he could the woman stopped him.

"You know, we can have fun without him~…" Her voice trailed off as she began to reach for his arm. Before she could grab him, however, he stepped back and smirked.

"I'm gay."

The woman bulged her eyes and then stepped back a few steps. "Well then," She shook her head and then marched off.

With an eye roll Jack strolled back to his car, only to find Toby mumbling to himself on the passenger's side. It was something to the degree of, "It's freezing," and, "Where is he?"

Jack then realized that Toby didn't have his zip-up hoodie with him. Which was strange, he was always carrying that thing around. But nevertheless, Jack pulled off his pull-over and threw it at the back of the other man's head, which made him jump and twirl around.

"Jack," Toby sighed. "you scared me." He shook his head and put the pull-over on, making sure not to thank Jack for it.

"Yeah, well," Jack breathed, unlocking the car and getting in. "I do that sometimes."

Toby followed shortly behind in getting in the car, and when he buckled his seatbelt he turned to Jack and punched his arm rather hard. "Not cool, man."

Jack laughed and started the car up. "What are you talking about?"

"You know _exactly_ what I'm talking about." Toby huffed and crossed his arms. "I was just about to talk to a hothothot blonde when-"

"And I set you up with a hot blonde-"

"No, Jack, you didn't!" Toby laughed and rolled his eyes. "You totally ruined my chances to-"

Jack rolled his eyes. "To _what_?"

"Get with a good looking-"

"Oh _please_, do you _really_-"

Toby cut him off. "Well I had _some_ chance!" Beginning to get frustrated Toby turned to Jack and shook his head. "Why do you keep interrupting me and sabotaging my chances with these women?!"

Jack sighed. "Toby I know that these women will just break your heart either immediately or after a short period of dating."

"Not every girl is bad, Jack! I can-"

"No, Toby," Jack raised his voice. "You'll end up getting-"

Toby raised his voice as well. "And how do you know that I'll-"

"Because it's happened before!" Jack yelled.

After that things went silent and the two zipped their lips. Jack knew that he had made Toby extremely upset, but he needed to hear that. Every time he got with a hot girl they always ended up breaking up with the poor guy and leaving him in a state of depression and self pity.

A while past and the silence still continued. Jack could only hear the sound of the car roaring down the road and the thoughts racing through his mind. "Was I too hard on him? Should I apologize?" Jack paid close attention to the road while taking a few quick glances to the brunette next to him. He had his arms folded in his lap and the hood of Jack's sweatshirt over his hair. He kept his attention out the window and away from Jack. "He's upset. Maybe he thinks that I think that he can't handle himself…" Jack chuckled quietly, thinking of something.

Toby looked over, eyebrow raised. "What's so funny?"

"I sounded like your mother." Another chuckled escaped his lips. He also earned a smile and huff from the man next to him.

"If you added something about Farmville in there you would've sounded _exactly_ like her." The two laughed a bit before Jack pulled to a stop at Toby's house.

"I'm sorry, man. I didn't mean that you can't look after yourself, I just didn't want you to-"

Toby cut him off. "It's alright." Toby rubbed the back of his neck and turned to Jack. "I guess I needed to hear that."

A brief pause passed over the two before Toby opened his door. "Come inside, I'll make you some tea to warm up before the drive back."

Jack smiled and nodded, glad that things aren't bad between them. He was glad that their senses of humor matched and that they could laugh on rough situation. In fact, reflecting on it, it was such a stupid topic to fight over.

The two sat on the couch for a while and played some video games, they also drunk some tea and were about to put on a movie before Toby paused and looked to Jack, whom was sitting next to him comfortably on the couch.

"I'm glad you watch out for me, man." Jack smiled at the kind words, but wasn't expecting much more after. "I mean, I probably would still be grieving over Olga if it weren't for you."

"I'm just glad you're moving on, now. Looking for other girls." Jack looked away from Toby with those last words, not bothering to look him in the eyes when he uttered them. He began to feel a knot forming in his stomach when he felt Toby shift on the couch.

"I kinda just-" Toby paused and laughed, which made Jack look over questionably.

"Hm?"

Toby glanced over to Jack, and Jack could've _sworn_ he saw a light blush across Toby's face, but he threw his head back and covered his face with his hands before Jack could get a better view.

"Let's just put on a movie." Jack suggested, getting up from the couch and walking over to the bookshelf of movies, but before he could get too far Toby sat up and grabbed Jack's wrist, which made him turn to see what Toby was doing.

"If I try something, do you promise not to freak?"

"It depends." Jack gave a light smile as he tried to ignore the blush that was probably inching across his cheeks.

Toby sat up from the couch and gazed into Jack's eyes. "Well, just don't, okay?" Carefully Toby leaned closer to Jack's face, and smirked a bit before pressing his lips softly against the other man's. After a few seconds Toby pulled away and laughed at Jack's face. His eyes were wide open and his cheeks were flushed with a merry shade of crimson.

"D-Don't laugh at me, bich!" Jack quickly slammed his lips against Toby's, which made Toby make the exact same face Jack had made. "There, now we're even."

Toby pushed Jack down on the couch and laughed. "No, no way." He then sat down on his lap, resting his knees on either side of Jack's legs. It was enough to make Jack's entire face go pink. Toby brought his nose so close to Jack's that they almost touched. Jack could feel the other man's hot breath on his neck, which made tingles of pleasure flow right through him. "You still have to make up for that failed hothothot grandma at the mall." After that his lips conformed into a smirk and his hands folded behind Jack's neck.

"I'll be happy to make up for that," Jack then made his signature face – the creeper face. "I'll make up for it any way possible."

Toby laughed and swung himself off of Jack and onto the carpeted floor. "Don't do _that_! I was – Jesus Christ, Jack." Another laugh and Toby got up from the floor and made his way to the kitchen.

"Aw, come on! I was joking!" Jack sighed and flopped over on the couch.

Jack lay there for a few minutes, and began to become curious when the brunette didn't return. At first he thought that he was getting up to refill his drink and come back, but it wouldn't take him a few _minutes_. Jack sat himself up and listened for any noises, but all he could hear was the barking of Gryphon, whom was probably running after Toby to get some treats, and some muffled words.

"Toby!"

"What?"

Jack laughed and spread himself on the floor once more. "Come back here! I was only joking!" Jack couldn't quite hear the other man's response, it was muffled and distant.

Toby wandered out of the kitchen wielding a video camera aimed at himself. He was talking into it and explaining what Jack had done to him that day at the mall, but completely disregarded the event in which Toby molested Jack.

"So he keeps saying, 'Oh, I was only joking!' But I know that he was trying to hook us up." Toby laughed and sat down next to Jack.

Jack just folded his arms behind his head and smirked at the ceiling. "If you guys were there you wouldn't have seen him complaining!"

"Ew! Jack!" Toby nearly hollered. "She was like, as old as my great grandmother."

"Your great grandmother, you mean my girlfriend?" Jack looked over to Toby on that one and did the creeper face afterwards.

Toby held back a chuckle as best he could and tried to put the most serious face he could on. "You are _sick_, man. _Sick_." Jack just rolled his eyes and smiled back up at the ceiling. "Anyway, Audience," Toby cleared his throat and began to mumble, "Bless your face, if you sneezed during this video bless you. The winner of yesterday's T-Shirt is annotated in the bottom-middle of the video," Toby slowed his words down and became understandable once more. "If you wanna enter to win a T-Shirt, post a comment below about hothothot grandmas, puppy treats, and creepy best friends." Toby shot a quick glance towards Jack and then back up at the camera. "Peace off. Bada-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do, SUB-SCRIBE! Outro of darkness, then redness, then whiteness, then, BOOOOOP!" With that Toby shut the camera off and threw it on the couch right before laying across the floor next to Jack.

"I love how you left out the part where you nearly raped me."

Toby shook his head and chuckled, "It's only rape if you try to fight, Jack." He then rolled over and laid across Jack's chest, staring into his pale blue eyes. "And if I remember correctly you didn't fight."

"It wouldn't have made a difference." Jack smirked and playfully pressed his lips onto Toby's, but he knew deep down what the other man was gonna go next.

Just as Jack tried to stand up Toby pinned him down once more, a sweet nut devious smirk crossing his face. "No," He whispered, taking off the pull-over Jack had given him just hours before. One it was discarded off to the side Toby tried to keep Jack's gaze, but Jack kept staring at his sweatshirt.

With a smirk Jack wrapped his arms around Toby's waist and giggled. "Were you planning on returning that before I left or were you just going to adopt it?"

Toby looked around the room and nodded his head, unsure of what his answer might've been. "Well," When he looked back to Jack he couldn't help but smile at those Carolina blue eyes. "Let's see if you leave tonight."

"I wouldn't bet on that, if I were you, Toby." Jack pressed his lips against the others, arms still wrapped around his waist. After a moment he pulled back and looked at Toby's olive eyes, and when he did so he felt a little ache in his stomach, for he thought for just a moment,"

"What if this is a dream?" Jack thought to himself. Toby then brought Jack into a deep kiss, that soon grew very passionate, and eventually Jack could feel Toby's tongue against his lower lip, asking for entry. "No… This feels _way_ too excellent to be a dream." Jack obliged and opened his mouth the slightest bit, but Toby practically pried his mouth a little more open with his tongue. Their tongues danced together in a rhythm that was beautifully perfect for the two. Soon Jack's hands began trailing up Toby's spine and lifting his bright blue Tobuscus T-shirt up bit by bit. His soft, tender skin felt so good on Jack's hands, and he could feel Toby shiver from every one of his light touches. Eventually Toby began tugging on Jack's shirt, and Jack smirked into their ongoing kiss.

"What's so funny?" Toby spoke breathlessly.

Jack giggled. "You're a little eager, aren't you?"

Toby snorted and sat up, still sitting on the man below him. "Pft, please, you know how long I've waited for this?"

Jack's eyes bulged. "_You_?! What about me? I've been waiting even _before_ Kristen."

"What?" Toby was confused for a moment, and then his face twisted into a devious smirk. "So she _was_ just a cover up…"

"And what about Olga? You guys have only been apart for nine months, I mean, there's no way you would've…" Jack's voice trailed off as a decent amount of blush crossed his cheeks.

Toby smiled and kissed Jack once more. "Who said I didn't like you while Olga and I were together?"

"So she was a cover up?"

"Well," Toby sighed and lay down across Jack, their eyes looking directly into one another's. "not at first. I started noticing you always staring and being defensive whenever someone would crack a joke about me and Olga, about three months into the relationship." Toby smirked. "I found it cute."

"So _five months_ of that relationship was spent liking me?" Jack raised his eyebrow.

"Correct."

Jack kissed Toby again, this time a bit more passion went into it; lots of sparks came out. "I feel so special," He whispered breathlessly after pulling away.

"Hm…" Toby sat up yet again and removed his shirt, tossing it over his head and in the same direction of the hoodie. "Let's see if I can make you feel extra special."

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TWANSITION!

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Jack awoke in the morning slowly, not sure where he was. He decided to shrug it off and just stare at the ceiling. All he knew was that he had another dream about Toby, and it felt _real_. He hated it when he had those dreams, because he knew Toby would never really feel that way. He was just a friend. Nothing more.

Suddenly an arm stretched out across Jack and pulled him into something. Jack flinched a bit, but turned his head to meet Toby's smiling face. He couldn't believe it, it had _actually_ happened?! Well apparently _something_ had happened; they were both naked and lying on the floor, a blanket lazily spread out across them.

"You okay?" Toby laughed.

"Yeah, just," Jack rested whatever expression he had on his face and turned it into a gentle and kind one. "I thought for a moment that nothing happened and I woke up alone."

Toby gave out a soft laugh and buried his face into Jack's side. "I think you'll be seeing a lot more of me, actually." Even though it was muffled, Jack could understand clearly. Like it was said directly in his ear. He smirked and slowly drifted back off into a light sleep, Toby still buried into his side. It was the best nap he had ever taken.

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**Why did I do this? Holly probably won't even see this unless I bug her about it. xDD Oh god, why?! It's so lame and cheesy I'm so sorry you had to endure that. I hope you guys liked it! :) ~T/M**


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